Pain –still– not the gut wrenching fold over someone’s stabbing me in the gut pain. But still pain. Here it is Friday — my gallbladder attack was Monday– I’m still in pain. I worked Wednesday and Thursday– the easier jobs– doing court research, but today I’m supposed to work at the store, helping customers. Not so sure I’m going to be able to do it with my abdomen in constant pain. Well, I am a mom. I am the epitome of the “suck it up” mentality. I have to be in seriously ill to get me to stop doing whatIgottado.
I have still been googling gallbladder issues. From what to expect post-op if it is removed (what the ER Doc said needed to be done) to how to know if it has progressed to worse things than Biliary colic such as cholecystitis, and/or pancreatitis if I decide to keep avoiding the surgery— not so hard a thing to do when one has no health insurance. I dutifully called the follow-op doctor listed on the ER release papers as the ER doc told me to to discuss my “options” and was promptly informed by the receptionist when I called that I should call the hospital back and see if they had some program to help me another way since I had no insurance. Well, they dont.
Now I am struggling. In my mind and with my body. I really, really, really dont want to think about having the gallbladder removed. But this pain has GOT to stop. But after reading some of the horror stories of other’s post-op experiences I’m almost willing to take my chances and just try to get the dumb thing to heal. I dont think its going to work though. I really think that my gallbladder has been non-or underfunctioning for many years. Like about 20.
All this reading about signs and symptoms of gallbladder issues has really kind of opened my eyes to a lot of what’s been going on in my body for years– especially the last 10. I have been to the doc many times complaining of just feeling unwell– tired– like my body was inflamed. Had many tests run. Thyroid -fine, Cholesterol- fine, Blood sugar– fine. Negative RH factor meaning probably not lupus or rheumatoid arthritis (father had it) or fibromyalgia. I have low blood pressure instead of high. The only test that showed anything to prove it wasn’t all in my head showed an Elevated Sedimentation Rate of my blood– indicating inflammation in my body– somewhere– Which I was given a prescription for Ibuprofen for. Not exactly what I was hoping for.
The sed rate test was repeated a week later and still showed the same result. The doc attributed it to stress and not sleeping well and gave me a script for depression. No thanks– I gained 60 pounds last time I was on an anti-depressant. Not again. Besides– its not feelings of sadness that are holding me back– its feelings of weakness and tiredness and all over sluggishness, the loss of strength in my wrists every couple of months and waking up sometimes feeling like I was mugged while I was sleeping– not rested at all. Falling asleep while driving has been fun all these years too. Even after a full nights sleep I could get behind the wheel and after 20 minutes or so of driving– feel like I needed to prop my eyes open with toothpicks.
I think there is a possibility that all or at least most of these symptoms may be related to the gallbladder not working properly for a very long time.
As far as my GREEN OCEAN diet goes– I decided yesterday while I was out that I really needed to eat something so I got a grilled chicken snack wrap— so no green there– besides a little bit of lettuce. Last night I had pan grilled salmon with dill sauce and some organic green peas for dinner. I still have no appetite. But I know I need to eat.
Hopefully, something will give soon– either with finding a way (and the courage) to get the gallbladder removed– or it returning to normal and functioning like its supposed to. I can keep praying for that … right?
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